Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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