I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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