He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
