My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
