he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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