So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
