Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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