My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
