I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
