rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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