also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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