NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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