you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
