having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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