Please, let me fuck your mom
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my being single is dangerous.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
