Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
