I just cut my nipple shaving
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
