I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
