I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
