So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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