Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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