you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
