Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
