I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
