Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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