shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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