I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
