have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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