how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
