Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
