It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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