Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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