well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
