More tranny stories later!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
