doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
