so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
