I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My life is pants optional.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
