haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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