New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
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