dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
