she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
