TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
