That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
