If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
