Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
