were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
