They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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