so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
