Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
