i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
