The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
